July 8, 2024

SUMMER FEST DOUBLE WHIZ BANG BLOG!

Pt. I - INSECURITY & ORGANIZED MAYHEM ON THE RIVER

Magnificent River Rats. Sounds like a potential Deliverancesque trip into hetero awkwardness. It, in fact, is nothing of the sort. The Magnificent River Rats in Athabasca is one of the best run, smaller music festivals in Alberta. These folks do it up right. And SAWBONES was quite honoured to be chosen from tonnes of applicants to perform on June 30th with our brand of dapper, dirty roots rock for the festival faithful..

It was our first foray into the summer season with our new bass player, the powerful & attractive Chad Charbonneau. You can't miss Chad. He's as tall as me but with way less hair, just as snappy a dresser and, in the supplied pic, appears to have only one leg. I better get my game on, I thought to myself, moments before we take the stage with our best known song, "Hunker Down". Might as well hit 'em hard with the good stuff and hope the audience doesn't mind a not-quite-bipedal bassist.

The "insecurity" in this story's title refers to my own neuroses about performing (leave your sexual jokes in the gutter, you lil freaks). This psychological warfare is a battle against four killers of a good show: the odd bedfellows of doubt, shame, self-loathing and narcissism.

And almost anything can distract me from the task at hand. From weird Xmas lights in the middle of summer to waiting too long backstage to go on said stage to the ever-hovering threat of equipment issues (again, ixnay on the exualsay okesjay), I'm usually an anxious mess inside. You'd never know it, though, because I look damn good.

There are the good distractions that actually help... like reunions with old friends. In this case, SAWBONES' original guitar slinger, Jordan Leden hung out with us before the show. He was playing in the band that appeared after us, Justin Sutton & North Of 49. 'Twas good to see our old friend doing well!

The "organized mayhem" in the story's title refers to (typically) how good a music fest behind-the-scenes is -- it's simply well-run bedlam. From soundman Doug to Fred the organizer to the beautiful merch lady -- whose name, sadly, I don't remember -- MMRF is a fine example of a top notch, live music celebration that doesn't need to be too big for it's own britches.

Pt. II - MEAT SWEAT ROCK

The Western Canada Ribfest Tour stop (July 6) in Cold Lake AB is not really a music fest per se but more of a feeder's fest... a feeder of MEAT. Glorious, smoky, unapologetic rib meat. One would think that when you get yourselves a decent gig like this one, it's all about the music. It is. But the savoury slabs of porky goodness was what was on our band's mind this day.

So while we toiled away in the hot sun playing our hearts out (and eagerly awaiting our turn at stuffing our carnivorous faces with bbq'd animal flesh), folks in the audience just enjoyed their dinner and politely sort-of watched our peripheral performance. Let me assure you, brothers & sisters... between a smattering of applause and a slathering of sauce, it was a pretty good day for SAWBONES.

Playing just before us was a bright young talent, Megan Paige who, crazily enough, is our guitarist Curtis Meikle's cousin! The talent sure runs in the family, eh!? I, too, have a cousin who is kind of a musician.... I'm told he plays the flute in tasteful, adult-oriented cinema.

In a stunning debut for SAWBONES, I pulled out my infamous 12-string bass and we performed as a trio for the very first time! Don't get excited, campers, it's not permanent. Our resident bassist, Chad Charbonneau had a prior commitment so we said what the hell.... we get paid AND there's free smokehouse meat! Awkward in places for myself and guitarist Curtis, it was a challenging but satisfying ripper of a set. 'Twas good to dust off The Beast after all this time, though.

The next morning, sassified from the previous day's victory, we looked for a victory of another kind: the victorious and glorious Canadian fighter jets taking off from nearby CFB Cold Lake.

Jeff is as giddy as a schoolgirl. We park beside a strangely barren airstrip where, Jeff insisted, aircraft of immense power and noise would take off and land.

We sit. We wait. Nothing yet. The ironically eerie peace & quiet here is as deafening as an F18.... that is, if we actually saw one.

<gasp> What's that sound in the distance? Oh, it's a truck. More waiting. And more false alarms with a few more vehicles briefly fooling (and silently mocking) us as they come closer and drive by two knucklehead jet groupies who are getting more despondant by the minute.

Score after 30 minutes:
Four trucks.
One fat ground squirrel (who also seemed to be mocking us).
Several cigarettes.
Zero planes.

A once elated but now dejected Jeff Nyback acquiesces to the whims of a cruel universe and we begin the long drive home. We sit silent for a spell of gentle reflection upon the weekend and the reason we were there, the City of Cold Lake and Ribfest now in the rearview mirror. Our stomachs are content.

July 22 , 2024

HOT

Hot. It’s a funny little word. If you stare at it long enough, it looks insignificant, incomplete, innocuous. But so much can be derived and described from such a precocious three letters. It could NEVER burn or hurt you! No, no. It’s just three dumb letters. And that, friends, is the Unvarnished Truth.

The Heat Is On

Let the record show on this 20th day of July in the middle of Alberta’s second summer heat wave that your cool, intrepid musical heroes, SAWBONES, did persevere at an outdoor show in Wetaskiwin’s Jubilee Park under the oppressive temperature of 34 degrees Centigrade. Also under a dubiously smoky sky, with no wind or relief. What the hell is wrong with us? Rock ‘n roll, that’s what.

Swassafrass

It was SO hot… (HOW HOT WAS IT???)

- that my under knickers decided to emulate dental floss in the very crevices of my being
- that when I trepidatiously changed into stage clothes in my car (thereby pulling every muscle in my body in the process), I somehow came out two pounds lighter than when I went in
- that there were no sane people in the audience. Cuz you’d have to be crazy to stand in muggy 34 temps watching an overdressed band.

You’d never know by the following pic that Jeff was also suffering under the elements. But he’s so cool, he seems impervious to heat!

The Return Of Masky

Masky The Mascot came back to us after over a year in AWOL nation.

For the unenlightened, he’s the mask that hauntingly adorns the cover art of our first CD, Rejects. And ever since he got famous, Masky tries to escape his parent family every chance he gets. He thinks he’s Keith Moon or something…. meandering off when no one is looking and getting into all kinds of monkeyshine. One unsubstantiated rumour has it that he was found swinging naked from a chandelier in Richard Simmons’ room at the Hotel Macdonald in Edmonton a few years back.

But the lil scamp went missing again after the last time we played the Wetaskiwin Arts And Music Fest. Organizer Dale Aitchison found him wandering a local alley begging change for “certain favours”. Masky was captured by Dale and held for 12 months, reprogramming him Clockwork Orange-style. He’s all better now.

Oven Fresh

We managed to cook up an hour of hot rockin’ for the Wetaskiwin faithful, including newer songs like “Snake Oil Blues” and faithful, old chestnuts like “Hunker Down” (an anthem for any weather occasion!). Thanks to those folks for riding out the heatwave with us. Also kudos to Dale Aitchison who invited us back again to perform in lovely Jubilee Park.

On the next episode of…The Unvarnished Truth:

- SAWBONES plays the big city!
- Cooler temperatures forecast!!
- Masky grounded for a month!!!

Sawbones